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Emotional intelligence means recognizing your own and others’ feelings, understanding them, and knowing how to manage them. Today, it’s as relevant as logical-mathematical intelligence for personal well-being, professional growth, and the quality of our relationships.
But why is it so useful at work, and how do you start developing emotional intelligence? In this post, we explain everything—from its definition and core components to the benefits and steps to strengthen EI.
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize what you feel, understand why you feel it, and manage those feelings to your advantage. It also involves detecting and understanding what others feel so we can relate better.
EI has been a topic of study for decades. However, the modern concept was proposed by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer in the early ’90s. Years later, Daniel Goleman popularized it with his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
All that said, having emotional intelligence doesn’t mean swallowing your anger or “acting tough.” Rather, it involves accepting what you feel and channeling it constructively to make more conscious decisions.
According to Goleman’s book, emotional intelligence is composed of five major skills:
Emotional self-awareness. In other words, noticing what you’re feeling and understanding how it influences what you think and do. For example, realizing you’re irritable because you’ve been stressed for days—not because your colleague is the problem.
Self-regulation. It has to do with managing your emotions so you don’t react on autopilot. It implies pausing, choosing your words, and responding consciously.
Motivation. It’s about using your emotions to sustain effort toward goals that matter to you. It includes consistency, resilience, and a sense of purpose—even when results aren’t immediate. Check out these motivational phrases.
Empathy. It consists of perceiving and understanding what others express through words or gestures. This means practicing active listening and responding with those emotions in mind.
Social skills. This refers to how you use emotions and empathy to relate to others. For example, mediating a disagreement between two colleagues and helping them find an agreement without anyone feeling attacked.
These five components form the basis of emotional skills, according to Goleman. They can help you make better decisions and move with more clarity at work or in daily life.
Emotional intelligence influences how you think, decide, and connect with others. Its importance shows up in several areas:
Well-being and mental health. When you understand and regulate what you feel, it’s easier to handle stress, anxiety, and inner conflicts without being overwhelmed.
Healthier personal relationships. Empathy and emotional self-awareness allow you to listen better, express disagreements respectfully, and solve problems without harming the relationship.
Clearer decisions. An academic study indicates that higher emotional intelligence is associated with better decision quality.
Professional development and workplace impact. Developing emotional skills improves performance, satisfaction, and retention within organizations, according to a meta-analysis published in Frontiers in Psychology.
In short, EI is a practical foundation for caring for your well-being, improving your relationships, and advancing more sustainably.
What does emotional intelligence look like at work?
You see it in how you handle stress, give or receive feedback, and how you relate to colleagues.
This, in effect, brings major benefits whether you work in an office or remotely:
Healthier pressure management. You can identify when stress is taking a toll and make adjustments before you explode or shut down.
Improved effective communication. You express yourself clearly without attacking and listen to what the other person is trying to say—even when it’s hard.
Calmer leadership. A leader with emotional intelligence motivates, supports the team in tense moments, and manages conflicts without adding more noise.
Better time management. You learn to prioritize tasks calmly instead of reacting only to urgency or stress.
A healthier work climate. Misunderstandings and unnecessary tensions decrease, and more respectful, collaborative interactions form among team members.
More collaboration, better results. With greater mutual understanding, less energy is spent on conflict and more on shared objectives.
For many companies, EI is as important as other soft skills, including leadership and teamwork.
So how does emotional management work in practice?
The following examples make it clear:
Receiving criticism with openness. Instead of taking it as an attack, you listen to the point, ask questions, and respond without raising your voice or acting on impulse. This combines self-regulation and empathy.
Setting healthy boundaries. Clarifying to a client that you can’t accept a task without reviewing timelines first, rather than saying yes and bottling up frustration.
Leading a meeting amid tension. You acknowledge the tension respectfully out loud and create space for everyone to share their stance before moving forward.
Managing fear of mistakes. Instead of freezing, you admit something makes you insecure and seek support from others until you feel more prepared.
Balancing work and personal life. When you begin to notice signs of fatigue, you act—reorganize your schedule, delegate specific functions, and take time to recover before reaching burnout.
Emotional intelligence is practiced in actions as simple as pausing before you respond. Small gestures like these can transform your day-to-day and how you work.
To strengthen your emotional intelligence, here are some steps that can help in everyday life:
Practice daily self-awareness. First, understand what you feel and why so you can make clearer decisions and act intentionally. Simple practices, such as brief brainstorming sessions and keeping a daily journal of your emotions, can be useful for getting to know yourself.
Name your emotions. Changing “I feel bad” to a specific emotion (frustration, fatigue, anxiety) helps you know what you need and how to regulate yourself better.
Use micro-pauses. Counting to five, breathing, or waiting a few minutes before sending a message or replying prevents impulsive reactions and unnecessarily tense conversations.
Practice empathy every day. Listen without rushing, ask open-ended questions, and pay attention to tone and body language. That improves your emotional read of others.
Ask for feedback on how you communicate. Ask people you trust how they perceive your reactions or tone. That external view is key to fine-tuning your emotional communication.
Care for your body to regulate emotions better. Sleeping well, eating well, and moving a bit each day strengthens your ability to stay calm—even in tense situations.
Setting aside small moments of deep work can also help you maintain emotional stability throughout the day.
Emotional intelligence is, essentially, the ability to understand what you feel, manage your reactions, and connect better with others. That’s why it directly influences your well-being, your relationships, and how you work.
Think of it this way: strengthening emotional skills is an investment in yourself—it gives you more discernment to decide and more tools to handle daily challenges. It’s not a luxury, but an investment in building long-term relationships.
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Emotional intelligence is the ability to notice what you feel and understand why. It also means knowing how to manage those feelings and considering how they affect others to make healthier decisions and build better relationships.
It’s not something everyone is born with—but yes, it can be developed. Self-awareness, emotional regulation, and daily practice in your relationships help strengthen it over time.
Because it helps regulate stress, collaborate better, and resolve conflicts without escalating problems. It also makes it easier for teams to achieve results more sustainably and contributes to a healthier work climate.
It’s not that one is more important than the other. However, research shows that people who manage their emotions better tend to achieve better outcomes and more stable relationships.
Sources:
Layered Model of Emotional Intelligence
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: WHY IT CAN MATTER MORE THAN IQ
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